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But if kissing after you've swallowed is the only mildly kinky thing you've attempted with him and it was a no, he may not be adventurous enough to deserve unicorn status. Kissing someone who has just swallowed your load (or snowballing with someone who wants you to swallow your own load) presents a challenge for many men.

Some silly straight men worry that tasting their own come will turn them gay or make them look gay—I've gotten letters from girlfriends who thought their boyfriends were gay because they were too willing to kiss them after a blowjob.

Immediately after a man ejaculates, his dick starts to go soft and he loses all interest in sex—hormones have been released into his bloodstream that short-circuit sexual arousal.

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Two questions: (1) Smacking my butt is okay so long as I don't want it? Joking About Consensual Kinks Two options: (1) He goes in for domineering head games and "playful" violence because he's abusive and controlling.

(2) He's got kinks, but he hasn't managed to incorporate his kinks into his sex life in a healthy, consensual manner—and now that he knows you enjoy the same things he does (but you're healthier about them than he is), he's projecting his self-loathing onto you. You recently said it's okay to fantasize about other people so long as we keep it to ourselves.