The thought of wedding and starting a family with someone who was not a member of the tribe was not up for debate in my mind.Or that was the case when I moved to New York City after college.Fourteen other Lehava members also were detained for questioning “as part of a police investigation on suspicion that they acted to locate and threaten Arab minority members with connections to Jewish young women,” the police said Sunday in a statement. Lehava, which calls for the separation of Jews and Arabs, opposes intermarriage and interdating, as well as joint Jewish-Arab initiatives.Ynet reported that Gopstein said prior to his Sunday hearing, “They accused me of telling a girl that ‘if she continues to go out with Arabs, bad things will happen to her.’ I didn’t say this, though it’s true, because if she continues to go out with Arabs, bad things will happen to her.” He added, “No one has accused me of assault” and that his organization works within legal limits.In August 2015, the police detained and questioned Gopstein after he announced his support for the torching of churches and mosques.I never considered marrying someone who wasn’t Jewish.I assumed that in a city with over one million Jews, more than any other urban area in the country, sticking to dating within the faith wouldn’t be hard.Now, roughly five years of post-college dating has got me rethinking that original conviction—specifically, the five years of seeing the same guy show up on Jswipe, then Bumble with a little purple Jewish star icon to indicate on this secular dating app that he’s NJB (Nice Jewish Boy), and that same guy messaging, scheduling a drink, and then flaking, sometimes trying to reschedule in a half-assed way, sometimes not.
All these factors put the pressure on people not to be part of a religious community.
Their lives are so transient.”If your religion isn’t playing a significant (or any) role in your social life, it doesn’t necessarily make sense that the romantic partner you pick at this time would share your religion.
“A lot of people say marriage is an issue of opportunity —the people we go to school with, work with,” Riley said.
Thus, statistically, as an American Jew who is not Orthodox, there are overwhelming odds that I will, ultimately, marry someone who is not Jewish—if I marry at all (the fast-growing number of single Americans suggest there’s also a decent shot I won’t wed).
Moreover, it’s not just, as Riley referred to, “an issue of opportunity.” The logic behind exclusively marrying someone who shares your religion doesn’t necessarily seem compelling in a modern and increasingly secular society.