If you have arguments, which are very normal in a relationship, sometimes it’s paying attention to what that other person needs.Sometimes people really need to be left alone and some people really need to talk things out.We generally try to steer people away from the work setting and into more social activities.There are clients of mine who are meeting people online, but there are so many sexual predators out there and it’s very difficult to sort that out.I also think it can be a good idea to have them meet somebody you know, like a family member or a good friend, so that the people you know can see who they are, what they look like, etc.Following these rules will provide for a little more security and if they’re predators, it will generally turn them away. How can you tell if a person is a good person for you or not? You go out on the date and see if there are things you like about each other. You don’t have to go out with a person just because that person wants you to go out with them.I think it’s important that their child has information about sexuality so they can protect themselves. And if it’s moving toward a more sexual relationship, talk to them, really share values.Also it’s important that they talk about some of the social things, the etiquette of dating. Sometimes it’s a learning process and dating can be hurtful but we have to have those emotional hurts.
Also, if you have people you feel really comfortable with, who would be good as a mediator, you can invite them to come help.Disability Scoop: What if you decide that you’re not that into somebody or things are just not going well, how do you break up with them?Mary Greenfield: Oh, it’s such a hard thing, isn’t it?Mary Greenfield: Sometimes just saying, “would you like to meet in the mall? ” Those types of things that say I’d like a little bit more from you. I have some folks I work with who only want to date people with disabilities. Mary Greenfield: Well, kissing and then having sex are two big stages. I think sex is a really precious part of who we are. Disability Scoop: What can you do if someone is pursuing or pressuring you who you don’t want a relationship with?If you have a family activity, like a holiday party, and you say, “how would you like to come to the holiday party? And then I have some folks who never want to date people with disabilities but they’ve had some bad experiences of folks saying, “what is wrong with you? Disability Scoop: How does real life dating and sex compare to what you see in the movies and on TV? Kissing, usually if you get close and you feel good and that other person doesn’t back away from you if you’re trying to kiss them, then that’s probably a pretty good sign. Mary Greenfield: Well, first of all you say, “leave me alone, I don’t want a relationship with you.” But if they keep pressuring you, say it again. If they keep pressuring you, then I would say get some help.